Crazy Fiction and More!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Dragon and a Picnic

I have a couple more stories that I know you'll love. Imagine your favorite newscaster saying this...


"The Boy And His Dragon!"
Outside a small town near the coast of Maine, there is a little boy who claims that he has a pet dragon. This might sound like just an imaginary thing, the people in the nearby town of Petesville, are wondering if he just might be telling the truth. Still others say that he is just good at creating an illusion, and he’s mighty good at it.
You see, in preparation for his family’s Memorial Day picnic, he was practicing making a fire in the fireplace. At first, his family was unimpressed by his efforts. While rubbing two sticks together, he barely got any smoke at all, much less a fire.
However, things changed when he appeared to get frustrated. He turned around and called out, "Hey Fred! Come here and give me a hand!" As he called out, he pointed toward the wood in the fireplace, and stepped aside. Almost immediately, there was a burst of flame and the wood was burning!
In awe, the boy’s father threw water on the fire and said, "Do that again!"
"OK." Said the boy. He pointed at the wood again. "Fred, right there."
Once again, there was a burst of flame, and the wood was burning. After doing it a few more times, the father got so excited, that he began to form a plan. He told everyone around town, and even put advertisements in the newspapers and on the TV for the "boy and his dragon." People came from all over and watched as the "boy and his dragon" burned log after log. Even now, the show continues on. The boy says that he’s glad his father is able to make some money, but he would rather just be able to play with his pet dragon like he used to.
If you want to see this spectacle, you can get more information and directions from their web page, theboyandhisdragon.com.

"Picnic With Aliens!"
Their is a family in Pennsylvania that reports an encounter with aliens during their Memorial Day picnic. They say that as they were about to sit down and eat their meal at their picnic table in a local state park, a flying saucer came and landed nearby. Of course, they report that they stopped and watched with mouths open, wondering what would happen next. As they watched, three aliens exited the ship, and came slowly over to the picnic table.
One alien, who was taller than the others, was apparently the leader. He stepped right over to the father of the family, and looked him right in the eye with a persistent stare. After a few seconds, the father got nervous and asked, "Yes?"
The alien, suddenly realizing that he was making the man nervous, softened his look and sat down. "Well, I was cruising through the galaxy at 4 times the speed of light when this freighter called us. He said that he had just been masquerading a human on the planet Earth. He said that there was this man that had been really nice to him, and invited him over for dinner often. He mentioned you by name."
"Me?!"
"Yes, you. He said that you made the best hamburgers that he had ever tasted in all the galaxy."
"Are you sure? This is really weird."
"Of course I’m sure. Do you remember a man named Fred Smith?"
"Yeah. He went missing a couple of weeks ago. Nobody has been able to find him."
"That’s because he is on his way to the planet Friddle. Anyway, I heard that you made these great hamburgers. I would like to try one."
After the aliens sat and ate with the family, they left in good spirits having discovered that the mother of the family also made the best lemonade they had ever had, and that they loved to play baseball. They promised to return again before the end of the millennium.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Skittles!

It's time for some made up news stories with one of our favorite snack foods! OK, so maybe they could never beat out anything with chocolate in it, but skittles are good too. Come on, admit it. You like them too. Well, anyway, imagine your favorite news anchor saying...


"Skittle Dinner"
There’s a fancy cook in New York City who had a huge surprise when he was making the evening meal for the party of a famous businessman, who has requested to remain anonymous. This fancy cook has an assistant. That assistant is the one who surprised the cook, and the surprise was a practical joke.
This assistant came to work with a large bag of Skittles, because he loves Skittles. Well, he realized just how similar the word Skittle was with the word skillet. With that in mind, he decided that his boss was going to get more than he bargained for when he asked for his skillet. You see, the assistant filled the skillet with Skittles. When the cook asked for his skillet, he got a skillet full of Skittles.
The part that makes this such an interesting story, is that the cook didn’t realize it at first. The cook immediately took the skillet to his stove and began to crack eggs into it. When the sound of the eggs hitting the skillet wasn’t the usual sound he heard, he looked closer and noticed the Skittles. He quickly got upset, and demanded an explanation from his assistant. His assistant was so busy laughing, they he never answered. He was fired on the spot.
The famous business man happened to be coming in to check on his dinner plans at that time. He noticed the skillet full of Skittles and a couple of cracked eggs. However, because the cook was still busy yelling at his assistant, the cook had never turned the stove off. The eggs and the Skittles were cooking nicely in the skillet. The curious businessman decided to take a taste of this interesting looking creation, and he loved it. He ordered the cook to serve it.
To the cooks surprise, not only did the businessman love it, but so did his wife. All the other guests at the dinner had mixed reactions, but the businessman gave the cook considerably more money than he was contracted for, and the assistant got his job back. The dinner was a hit for the cook, all because of a practical joke that turned into a masterpiece dinner. Oh, and the businessman’s wife demanded the recipe from him too.

"Alien Snack"
In rural Tennessee, a little boy has reported an interesting event with an alien. His parents have doubted the story, but many of the people in the nearby town of Alienville are riveted by his story. The reason the parents doubt the story is because the child recently saw the movie "E.T." and the events of the story strongly resemble some of the details of the movie. The reason the folks of the town find it so riveting is because some of the details are so different from the movie, they believe it must be true.
The boy says that he was riding his bike home for dinner. He had been at a friends house playing, and his parents called for him to come home. On the way, he noticed a space ship take off from a field. He noticed that there was a figure standing alone in the field, and he had to investigate.
When he approached the figure, it ran away behind a bush at the edge of the field, and it wouldn’t come out. The boy remembered that his friends mom had given him so Skittles to snack on, and he had put some in his pocket to save for later. He took out the Skittles and place them on the ground to lure the figure out. After tasting one, it did follow the trail out from behind the bush, and the boy saw that it was an alien.
The boy asked the alien if he wanted more. The alien nodded yes. The boy gave him some more, and began talking to the alien about the universe. After about ten minutes of sharing the secrets of the galaxy, the alien stopped and looked up. He asked the boy, "Phone home?"
The boy agreed and lent him his cell phone. The alien made a quick call, and the space ship returned within minutes. The two hugged and the alien left with his fellow aliens. Then the boy reached for more of his Skittles and realized that the alien had stolen them. Right then, his cell phone rang. It was the alien, and he bragged to the boy, "Na, na. I got your Skittles! Ahahahahaha!"

Saturday, May 06, 2006

The Gardener Vs, the Aliens

OK, I think it's time for another alien story. Imagine your favorite news caster telling you this story...


In Gardenville, New Jersey, an avid gardener reports a very strange occurrence. Last Saturday, he was out in his garden, planting his new garden for this year. Well, as he was working hard at planting this here and that there, he suddenly noticed a cool breeze that wasn’t there before. He looked up and saw that a small space ship was landing in his back yard.
At first, his reaction was, "No! My lawn! Your going to put ruts in my lawn!" After that, he was astonished to see that the ship was not going to land all the way, but instead hovered a short distance from the ground. He then saw two aliens appear in his lawn, like they had beamed out from their ship like they do on Star Trek.
The two aliens walked over to him and greeted him in perfect English. "Hello earthling friend. We want to congratulate you."
The man was automatically suspicious. "What for?" asked the man.
They responded, "Why, for the award we are going to give you of course."
"Award?" he asked.
"Yes. We are the heads of the interstellar garden committee. It’s our job to look all over the galaxy at every single garden, and award the ones who qualify for various different awards. We try to give out our awards about once every 10 of your years. Well, anyway, it’s that time again, and after searching the whole galaxy, we have determined that you do qualify for one of our awards."
Well, the man reports that at that time, he was feeling really good about himself. After all, he was getting an award that no body else in the galaxy was getting. His heart sank and he got angry when he heard the next words out of their mouths.
"Jasper, give it to him."
"Oh yeah. Here you go. We now award you for having the ugliest of all gardens in the galaxy for ten straight years!"
"WHAT!" the man shouted. "UGLIEST! You came all the way over hear to tell me that my garden was UGLY?!"
"Well, we also wanted to mention to you that your lawn was very well kept, in sharp contrast to your garden. That’s why we couldn’t bear to land on it."
"WHY, YOOOOOUUUUUU!" shouted the man as he chased them with his shovel over his head, ready to swing at them as soon as he caught up with them.
"Well, Jasper, I tried to tell you he would get angry."
And then, just as quickly as they were there, they were gone.