Crazy Fiction and More!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Cliffyboy verses the... what?

After I sent Duckman off to East Bumblyburp, I flew around town to make sure that any evildoers would be dealt with. It was a long night of not much going on. I wouldn't admit it to some, but I actually nodded off a few times.

At dawn, I decided to go back to the water tower and see how Duckman was doing over there in East Bumblyburp. I landed the Cliffflyer and hopped out for a clear look. Everything looked good for a few moments, but then there seemed quite a commotion. I noticed that Duckman was chasing a....a.....something. I couldn't tell what it was. But!!!! they were coming straight toward Bumblyburp!!! I jumped back into the Cliffyflyer and began grumbling quite loudly about Duckman and his lack of super abilities, and how he was chasing danger toward my town.

I flew ever so swiftly over to the edge of town and met them as they were coming into town. I landed right in the middle of the street, and jumped out in front of them. "Halt!" I shouted.

The thing, whatever it was, stopped right in front of me. It was a peculiar creature. It seemed something like a blob with a mouth and eyes. Bloodshot eyes at that. It just stood there, that is, if it could stand, and it just looked at me.

Duckman came up behind him panting and said between breaths, "Finally.....I've got you.....you evil....whatever you......are."

The blob just turned slightly and looked at Duckman with what appeared to be annoyance. "Um, excuse me Duckman, but what seems to be the problem here?"

Duckman contiued to breathe hard for a moment, and then stood straight pointing at the...whatever. "This thing, whatever it is, beat up those kids on Blueberry Lane before I got there!"

The blob just looked annoyed and rolled his eyes. As I tried to understand the problem, the blob suddenly spoke up. "EEeyoploben perg fen, oobla glip glop!"

Duckman and I looked at each other in confusion. I looked back at the blob. "Um, could you repeat that? I'm not sure I understood what you said."

"EEeyoploben perg fen, oobla glip glop!" he said even more firmly this time.

I narrowed my eyes a bit, and leaned in a bit closer. "What are you?"

"Heeblplip."

"You're a ....Heeblplip?"

The blob shook back and forth like he was shaking his head no, if that were possible. "Schmiglestan gleep frong pooble blonck."

I furrowed my brow and leaned over toward Duckman. "I don't get it."

Duckman slapped his forehead. "I went over to help that kid on Blueberry Lane like you said. Except this thing had already done it. When I asked for an explanation, he started babbling at me too. So naturally, I began chasing him when he suddenly turned and ran."

"Couldn't you have chased him the other way?"

"What, into West Dimpletown? There's no hero in that town. Nobody could have helped me."

"Right."

I looked back to the blob, and then back to Duckman. "What do we do with him?"

"I don't know, that's why I came to you."

"Right. We'll give you a couple extra bonus points for problem solving."

"Gee, thanks!"

"I wasn't being serious you idiot! You're a super hero! You're supposed to be able to handle thses kinds of situations!"

Before I could berate him more, the blob jumped between us and began jumping up and down shouting, "Gleeble glop, gleeble glop, gleble glop glop glop!" over and over again. Suddenly, this mechanical device fell out of the blob and landed on the road with a loud bang. The blob just backed up and looked at us seething in anger. Duckman and I leaned over and looked at the device, wondering what it was.

Duckman picked it up and looked closer. "There's a button on here. Should I push it?"

"No..." I started, but it was too late. He pushed it. Thankfully, it was the right thing to do after all. There was a sound of the device powering up, and the blob seemed to sigh in relief.

The blob stepped over and sucked the device away from Duckman. "Finally!" the blob said. "Somebody with hands has turned on my universal translator! After those kids over there almost broke this thing, I had to use drastic measures to get it back. And now, all I need is someone that I want to talk to, and the two of you are not it. Goodbye."

Then, the blob just turned and left the way it came.

I turned to Duckman and said, "There, now that that's settled, I have a secret identity too uphold. As for you, I would follow him and keep an eye on him."

"But, Picklecliff, I have a secret identity to maintain as well!"

"That's your problem. In the meantime, that thing is in your town. Goodbye."

While Duckman continued to sputter, I flew away in my Cliffyflyer and went to work.