Crazy Fiction and More!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Traveling Salesmen and Super Dad's

Here's the next edition. Imagine your favorite newscaster saying...

"Traveling Salesmen?!"
In Empty Pockets, Nebraska, a family is reporting a run in with traveling salesmen. That may not sound unusual at first, but these were no ordinary traveling salesmen. These traveling salesmen were from another planet. Yes that’s right, they were aliens.
On a Saturday afternoon, the Smith family was just enjoying another weekend at home when there was a knock at the door. When Mr. Smith answered the door, there was a green alien yellow eyes and no hair was standing there. Next to him there was another green alien, but this one had red eyes, and hair dragging on the ground behind him.
The first alien reached out his hand and said, "Hello, my name is George and this is my companion Fred. We’ve come a long way across the galaxy to show you something that we just know you’re going to want to buy."
Mr. Smith was shocked at first, but when he heard what they wanted, he simply said, "We’re not interested. Besides, we don’t have any money. Goodbye." Then he closed the door.
As Mr. Smith turned around, he screamed. The aliens were now behind him, inside his house. "How’d you do that?" he asked.
The aliens looked at each other briefly then responded, "Well, have you ever seen Star Trek? Our transporters are better. They’re quicker and much quieter because we can control ours with just a thought."
"You know about star Trek?"
"Well of course. We keep up on all earth technology and entertainment. If we don’t study how you all live, how will we ever know what you all need in life. Which brings me back to the reason why we are here."
"Wait a minute!" said Mr. Smith. "I don’t want to hear about any product except for your transporters. I could definitely use one of those."
The aliens seemed a little perplexed. "No body has ever asked for that before." said George. "What do you think Fred?"
"Well, why not. I mean, if he’ll pay for it, why not."
George looked back to Mr. Smith. "You’ve got a deal!"
Mr. Smith wasn’t ready for the deal yet though. "Before you sell it to me so quickly, I want to try it first."
"Not a problem." said Fred.
Immediately a large machine was in front of them. Mr. Smith called his son Jimmy over. Jimmy looked at the machine for a while and he figured out how to use it.
"Yeah, it’s real simple Dad. All you’ve got to do is push this button here, and those guys can’t control it anymore. Then, to transport them back to their ship, push these buttons, and we’ll never see them again."
Mr. Smith fought the aliens off for a bit while he shouted, "Do it now, Jimmy. Do it!" Then, Jimmy did it, and the aliens were gone. Ever since, the Smiths haven’t needed their car, so if you’re looking for a good car, you might be able to get a deal with them.

"Dad to the Rescue!"
Last month we told you about the children of a super hero school who had a contest concerning the best Mom awards. Well, we are going to take you back there for another story. It appears that the students at the school found themselves in quite a predicament recently. You see, an evil villain took over the school, and demanded ransom from the parents of the students.
All of the parents, who are super heroes of course, gathered together to make a plan how to save them. However, none of them could agree on how to do it. Every one of them insisted on doing it their own way. They argued together for many hours, to no avail.
There was one father who wasn’t willing to just stand around and argue. While the others continued to argue, he formulated and executed his own plan without a problem. He decided to turn the tables on the evil villains, and he decided to join them, or so it seemed.
You see, this father went down to the school and called for them to come talk for a minute. He said that he didn’t care that his children were being held hostage. He wanted in on their plan, because he needed some money to help pay off his debts. Although it took much talking and persuasion, eventually the villains agreed to let him.
Once inside the building, and learning their whole plan, he gathered together with them in one room, and then proceeded to kick their butts! Because villains are not so smart, they never saw it coming. In 3 minutes, this father had all of them tied up in knots. He then went out to the cafeteria, where all of the students were being held, and let them free. This father’s children were extremely proud of their father, and gloated to everyone about him.
The other heroes heard what happened and came straight to the school. They gladly welcomed their children home, and they all gave the rescuing father an award for actually doing something and not standing around arguing like the rest of them. One commented to him, "It’s a wonder anyone gets saved with the way we argue all the time. Good job!"