Valentine stories

Well, my sister wants Valentine stories. As it turns out, I have already written two for the children's curriculum. what a coincidence. It probably is not what you wanted oh sister of mine, but enjoy it anyway. Start by imagining your favorite newscaster saying...


"A Dragon in the Street!"
In the small town of Fantasy, Iowa, village citizens couldn’t believe their eyes. Some said they felt like they were in a fairy tale, or that they must have been dreaming. In the evening, a fuss started in the local theater. People ran out of the theater yelling that there was a dragon. Indeed, soon afterward, a dragon did burst out of the building holding onto a woman who looked like she was from the 5th century or so. The dragon quickly turned around in the street and faced back toward the theater where a knight in shining armor came following.
When the knight realized where he was, he stopped and lifted his visor. "Oh my. Where are we? This does not look like England. For that matter, it doesn’t look like any place I’ve ever seen on earth."
The woman shouted out to him, "Who cares? You have to save me!"
"And I will my love. Even if I have to slay the dragon in this strange land, and sell it’s hide to be able to return to England, I will save you!"
At that comment, the dragon looked a little upset and perturbed. It looked to one of the people cowering on the street. "Excuse me, sir, but do you think that this man will be able to sell my hide to anyone around here? For that matter, do you think he could even get close enough to kill me and take my hide? I think not!"
The man on the street didn’t answer, but only ran away in terror. The knight felt to respond though.
"Hey, do you think these strange people in this strange land care at all about our quarrel. You only waste your time with words."
"So you’ve said before, but you only waste your time with threats and pathetic attempts at violence to save your believed damsel in distress. You’ve tried to rescue her now for weeks. There’s nothing that you can do to me to make me set her down. However, if you ask nicely, I just might let her go."
"Really, you would do that? Please will you let my beloved lady go."
The dragon quickly but gently set her down. "There you go."
The lady shouted, "My hero!" as she embraced her lover in a long kiss.
After a while, the knight looked back to the dragon. "While we are on such nice terms, can you tell me how we can get back to England?"
"Sure. Actually, let me show you. We have to go back into this building and walk through this movie screen…"
"Excuse me dragon. What’s a "movie screen?"
"Never mind, just follow me."
With that, the dragon and the two people from the 5th century or so disappeared into the building, and nobody has seen them since.

"Cupid Misses!"
Outside the small town of Lovely, Pennsylvania, a farmer says that he met Cupid. While going about his business on the farm, he noticed the short man with a bow and arrow aiming his arrow at the farmer’s cow.
"Hey what are you doing?" asked the farmer right as the man was about to fire. In fact, the man did fire, but he was so startled that he missed the cow, and hit a chicken afar off.
The short man said to the farmer, "Well, I was going to make your best two cows fall in love, but you startled me and I missed. I already shot that cow over there, but now I have also shot your chicken. Now, your cow and your chicken will fall in love. Do you have any idea how hard it will be to reverse this and do it right. It’s going to take me weeks to appeal this to the high Cupid, and he will have to review the case, and then it ill take two more days of paperwork before they can issue me a reversal arrow. By that time, your cow will probably be engaged to the chicken! And all of this is because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. You just had to yell at me didn’t you. Really, I don’t understand humans."
With that, the short man walked around the barn and the farmer never saw him again. He did keep an eye on the chicken and the cow though. Although the two never kissed, they sure did spend a lot of time together for a few weeks, when they suddenly had a fight and turned their backs to each other.
Most people have said that they think the farmer is crazy, and that he spends to much time driving his tractor in the summer sun. The farmer however, swears that he saw Cupid.