Fictional Funny Bunny

OK, nobody wants to read a blog about how you're just too busy to post, so I'm going to give you all something interesting to read. Here are two stories I made up about Funny Bunny, Robert Bunny. They have been written in a newscast format so that maybe you could imagine you're favorite nescaster reading this story on TV. I think you'll love it. Here goes!


"Bunny robs Wal-mart!"
Robert Bunny has been accused of robbing the local Wal-Mart store in Hopsville, Maryland. Witnesses say that he entered the store very quietly and looked around cautiously before pulling a machine gun out from his fur coat. He demanded the lady at the Customer Assistance desk to call for one of the workers to get all the carrots in the store and put them in his bag that he had brought with him. The Lady calmly informed the Bunny that they didn’t carry any kind of carrots. Later, she told reporters that she said to Mr. Bunny, "To get carrots, you need to go to a Wal-Mart Super Center. This is just a small store. We don’t have any fresh vegetables." After settling for canned carrots, Mr. Bunny fled the store quickly. Police searched his rabbit hole, but didn’t find him. He’s reported to be about 8 to 10 inches tall, wearing a brown fur coat, and he has a white circle around his eye. He’s believed to be armed and dangerous. (Especially to those with carrots.) If you should see Mr. Bunny, you are advised to call 911 immediately to give his exact location. Do not try to confront him.


"Bunny Sets New Record for the Books!"
For weeks now, police have been searching for Robert Bunny, who is accused of robbing the Hopsville Wal-Mart of all their canned carrots. Well, the other day, they got a break in the case. Local property owners noticed a bunny on the sidewalk in downtown Hopsville, jumping on top of a can of carrots. Immediately, the police were called. While waiting for police to arrive, one resident reports hearing the bunny yell out in frustration, "What good is a can of carrots if I can’t open the can!" He appeared to jump on the can all the harder after that, until he heard the sound of sirens. When he saw that the police were after him, he abandoned the can of carrots and ran as fast as he could down Main Street. The chase that followed has been reported to be one of the fastest high speed chases that police in Hopsville have ever experienced, often exceeding 100 miles per hour. In fact, after leaving the town limits, Robert Bunny went running past a State Police officer who was trying to give directions to some people from Guinness Book of World Records. Hearing that the bunny was heading his way, he got out his radar gun and clocked him at 115 miles per hour while the Record Book people stood watching. They were so impressed by the speed of the bunny, that they created a new page in the next book devoted to the highest speed for bunnies in high speed car chases. Unfortunately, Robert Bunny will not have a chance to enjoy his fame. The police finally cornered him in a dead end alley in Pittsburgh, and were able to take him into custody. What price will Robert Bunny have to pay for his crimes? We will find out at his court date soon.