Back by popular demand!

Well, my sister appears to be amused by my stories. I'll share more. Here's a couple that go along with Thanksgiving, in the same style and format as my previous stories. Imagine your favorite newscaster saying...


"Wild Turkey Fights Back!"
In a quiet forest near Plymouth, Massachusetts, a hunter encountered a very unusual turkey the other day. The hunter had been following the turkey very slowly and as quietly as he could. However, he tells us that the turkey disappeared behind a large rock for a very long time. When he followed to see where it had gone, he discovered instead that it had prepared an ambush. The turkey held a sharp stone in it’s foot and cut a piece of rope as soon as the hunter looked over the rock. Immediately the hunter was overcome by a large amount of pine cones and pebbles that flew out off of the catapult that the turkey had prepared. The weight of the great mass knocked him out.
You might think to yourself that this turkey was pretty smart, but you don’t know the whole story. He’s smarter than you think. He knew that smart hunters don’t hunt alone. The hunter did indeed have a hunting body that came looking for him when the fellow didn’t come to meet him. He did eventually find his hunting buddy, but he also found one of the most unusual situations heard of. He noticed his buddy covered with pine cones and pebbles, with a message scratched into the dirt nearby. After checking to make sure his friend was still alive and OK, he read the message scratched in the ground. It said, "Take your friends this message. Don’t mess with us turkeys." He then noticed the turkey look over the top of the rock. He saw something then that nobody has ever seen before. That turkey held a gun in it’s foot. It was the very same gun that his buddy had been hunting with. The turkey aimed for the hunter’s feet and shouted, "Gobble, gobble, gobble! Dance!" The turkey began shooting while the hunter danced. The first hunter was startled awake by the gunshots. He got up and ran away, leaving his buddy behind. His buddy soon followed however, because the turkey ordered him to run and chased him away with a great shout. "Gobble, gobble, gobble!"

"Turkey Avoids Cutting Block!"
In a barn not far from Plymouth, Massachusetts, a turkey outwitted a local farmer. Farmer Williams was looking forward to having a big turkey for his Thanksgiving dinner. He had fed his turkey well, and this day was the time to get his turkey ready for the meal. The turkey had inside sources however, that warned him ahead of time what the farmer would do. So when Farmer Williams approached the turkey, he didn’t just turn and run. He had a plan. Instead of running, he demanded his freedom. We interviewed Farmer Williams, and he told us that the turkey had tied up all the other animals and was holding them for ransom. The ransom price was his freedom.
At first, the farmer was in no mood to play games, so he lunged for the turkey and dragged it to the cutting block. The turkey however, had tied each animal to a line that he held. When the farmer swung his hatchet to cut off his head, he nearly missed as the turkey yanked the duck’s head to the cutting block. On the second swing, it happened again, except this time, it was the farmer’s prize goose. Farmer Williams, rattled by the near loss of his prize goose, finally gave in to the turkey’s demands. The turkey, nervous that the farmer would not keep his word, went to the nearest city and got a ride in the first cab he could flag down. The turkey has not been seen since.